Awake

I felt crappy all day today. I decided not to take my medication before I fell asleep for the night so I felt off all day. I wish I didn't take medication and I hope to soon no longer be taking it. I am scared though, I don't know what it will feel like to not be on some form of the medicine. I have been on something since I was 17 years old. 10 years of being medicated. I wonder if I am a different person when that drug is not in my system. Will I feel different? I have read so many terrible accounts of people trying to get off of this medicine.Some of them are really scary. Will I be able to get pregnant? Has this drug hurt me? Did I ever really need to start taking something? Can't go back now..right? I hope I can handle life well when I am not on drugs.